Full Version: South African Thread - The warm and squishy thread!
hey!.. is it just me or do no south africans watch this show?
so now that i've searched through like every page on this board (yes, i kid you not!)..i found a saffa page woohoo! not gonna help though because i don't rate there are any in here anyways 
I'm not, not even the slightest bit, but...I want to visit! Does that count?
Even if it doesn't, I'm still posting.
Punky, tell me what it's like, okay?
Even if it doesn't, I'm still posting.
Punky, tell me what it's like, okay?
Sweet!!! we totally need to keep the saffa thread up and running 
Well S.A.'s actually one of those places where everyone wants to go, but they don't realize that there aren't lions and stuff running around... I live in Johannesburg, which is a city like most others,we don't have the sea here though
...
The main tourist attraction would be Cape Town, it's got Table Mountain and the sea etc...it's actually the gay capital of S.A.
But we're a friendly bunch for the most part so you should totally get over here at some point MT
Well S.A.'s actually one of those places where everyone wants to go, but they don't realize that there aren't lions and stuff running around... I live in Johannesburg, which is a city like most others,we don't have the sea here though
...The main tourist attraction would be Cape Town, it's got Table Mountain and the sea etc...it's actually the gay capital of S.A.
But we're a friendly bunch for the most part so you should totally get over here at some point MT
i'm not a 'saffa' either, but my first big crush was a south african.... that damn lovely accent could melt....something very hard to melt
You like our accent? Man, so many people say that, and all i can say is i hope you're not talking about the Afrikaans accent because although it's funny to hear, it's seriously not hot!!
mmm not sure. i just know the regular sath efrikkan one i guess hehehehe
but yes it is seriously hot! aussies and brits have pretty nice ones too
but yes it is seriously hot! aussies and brits have pretty nice ones too
I wanna visit too.... infact, I offered to marry Puffy to gain SA citizenship
I am gonna visit sometime hopefully soon.
And yes, the accent is very fuucking hot!
I am gonna visit sometime hopefully soon.
And yes, the accent is very fuucking hot!
Aye, i think the most famous thing about South Africa has got to be THE BRAAI it's like a BBQ i think... so if you had to attend one of mine, i could guarantee you loads of Saffas! You could listen to 'em all day long
I wanna visit too.... infact, I offered to marry Puffy to gain SA citizenship
I am gonna visit sometime hopefully soon.
Well i'm still waiting for you to get your butt over here!! come on, book that ticket! 
it's like a BBQ i think... so if you had to attend one of mine, i could guarantee you loads of Saffas! You could listen to 'em all day long QUOTE(MollyCBR @ Dec 19 2006, 02:52 AM) 
I wanna visit too.... infact, I offered to marry Puffy to gain SA citizenship
I am gonna visit sometime hopefully soon.
I like that idea, I'd definitely go if you had one... I'll bring the malibu & coke
ETA- *runs off to book flight*
ETA- *runs off to book flight*
well i'm shotgunning a spot in Pam's suitcase then 
i'm sure i mentioned before that a couple of my buddies are from or their parents are South African, so i'm very fond of the accent. there's also a couple terms that i knew at one point but now don't remember, that i found quite amusing
i'm sure i mentioned before that a couple of my buddies are from or their parents are South African, so i'm very fond of the accent. there's also a couple terms that i knew at one point but now don't remember, that i found quite amusing
Oh you'd be my drinking buddy for sure if you came over - Malibu and coke is my speciality (although you already knew that ) ...weird though, the Malibu gets more and more in the glass as the night goes on and the coke becomes less and less.. hmmm
there's also a couple terms that i knew at one point but now don't remember, that i found quite amusing
Well we say stuff like 'China' and 'bru' and the Cape Townians say 'kif' (which sounds real dumb if you ask me!) ... i'll think of more...
) ...weird though, the Malibu gets more and more in the glass as the night goes on and the coke becomes less and less.. hmmmQUOTE(McDouchebag @ Dec 19 2006, 02:56 AM)
there's also a couple terms that i knew at one point but now don't remember, that i found quite amusing
^^
so you get straight to the point then eh?
so you get straight to the point then eh?
I found this on GPSA.co.za
Some more on being in current South Africa (this time Jo'burg specifically)...
You know you're in JHB when..
1. The person in front of you in traffic this morning was hijacked and you got irritated because you missed the robot.
2. While eating dinner, a news item comes on TV about a family of six slaughtered in their home, and you ask someone to pass you the salt.
3. You never think of taxis in terms of public transport.
4. While waiting at the ATM, the bank is robbed by armed gunmen, but you'll be damned if you're going to lose your place in the queue.
5. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
6. The last time you drove your car without swearing at someone was when you took your drive test.
7. It takes you an hour and a half to drive 5km to work in the morning and you think wow, good traffic day.
8. Every time you find your car parked where you left it you are genuinely surprised.
9. You've never been to Melville or Rocky St but love Sandton City.
10. You can get into a four-hour argument about the quickest way out of Sunninghill after work on a Friday, but can't find Boksburg on a map. Oh, and where is Nigel?
11. You've seriously considered shooting someone.
12. You have more barbed wire around your home than Diepkloof Prison.
13. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
Some more on being in current South Africa (this time Jo'burg specifically)...
You know you're in JHB when..
1. The person in front of you in traffic this morning was hijacked and you got irritated because you missed the robot.
2. While eating dinner, a news item comes on TV about a family of six slaughtered in their home, and you ask someone to pass you the salt.
3. You never think of taxis in terms of public transport.
4. While waiting at the ATM, the bank is robbed by armed gunmen, but you'll be damned if you're going to lose your place in the queue.
5. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
6. The last time you drove your car without swearing at someone was when you took your drive test.
7. It takes you an hour and a half to drive 5km to work in the morning and you think wow, good traffic day.
8. Every time you find your car parked where you left it you are genuinely surprised.
9. You've never been to Melville or Rocky St but love Sandton City.
10. You can get into a four-hour argument about the quickest way out of Sunninghill after work on a Friday, but can't find Boksburg on a map. Oh, and where is Nigel?
11. You've seriously considered shooting someone.
12. You have more barbed wire around your home than Diepkloof Prison.
13. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
funny, more malibu and less coke is usually how my nights go on too That stuff is so good.
McD, you can ride in my suitcase for sure.
That stuff is so good.McD, you can ride in my suitcase for sure.
Okay, this even i thought was well funny!
These questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner -
Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometres take lots of water...
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa? Can you send me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town, Knysna and Jeffrey's Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa? (USA)
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is north in South Africa? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, straight after the Koala Bear races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in South Africa?(USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can dispense rattlesnake serum. USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
These questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner -
Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometres take lots of water...
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa? Can you send me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town, Knysna and Jeffrey's Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa? (USA)
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is north in South Africa? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, straight after the Koala Bear races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in South Africa?(USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can dispense rattlesnake serum. USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
Oh man. I think I want to marry that website owner.
okay seriously...only in S.A!! you'll never find funnier stuff that's actually real, i **** you not! Check the stuff that was written on charts at a goverment hospital in Mpumalanga: i get this stuff once again from GPSA.co.za 
Actual writings on Mpumalanga (Northern Transvaal - S.A.) hospital charts:
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11.Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
25. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
29.Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
you'll never find funnier stuff that's actually real, i **** you not! Check the stuff that was written on charts at a goverment hospital in Mpumalanga: i get this stuff once again from GPSA.co.za Actual writings on Mpumalanga (Northern Transvaal - S.A.) hospital charts:
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11.Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
25. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
29.Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
That's fantastic Puffy
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
Yeah, damn sometimes i want to laugh...and sometimes i want to cry when i see what's up in my country. But at least it makes me laugh at 3:30am right?
Yay, now I can figure out the time difference!
I could have just looked it up on Google, but this is easier.
I could have just looked it up on Google, but this is easier.
Hehe, yeah where are you at the moment MT?
Illinois, US Central time...I'm 8 hours behind you. I think. If I counted correctly.
Oh okay cool, so it's like 7:30 over there yeah?
I'm 10 hours back... almost 6pm here
Aha i see, you're all behind me...does that mean you're following me around?
no, that means we're just a bit slower 
did you just admit to that!?!?
yep.... but if my theory is correct... then you're slower than the australians (among others of course)... and this would mean that aussies and kiwis are the smartest people in the world.
So I don't think my theory is correct.
So I don't think my theory is correct.
Um yeah, scrapping that theory! 
Alrighty i think i'm gonna go try catch some ZZZZZ's at exactly 4am here, i'll see you guys
Alrighty i think i'm gonna go try catch some ZZZZZ's at exactly 4am here, i'll see you guys
Gnite babe.. sleep well
i'm back again, well goodnight to you punky
'Night, Punky of the Future!
i be back mwahahaha! What's happening wannabe Saffas?
Hey Punky, do you EVER sleep ?
Wannabe saffa is right
How'd ya sleep? Did you sleep?
How'd ya sleep? Did you sleep?
QUOTE(komakino @ Dec 19 2006, 09:48 AM)
Hey Punky, do you EVER sleep ?
id yeah, just not as much as most lolQUOTE(MollyCBR @ Dec 19 2006, 09:48 AM)
Wannabe saffa is right
How'd ya sleep? Did you sleep?
i did get some sleep 
but you guys can see by my post count that i live on MB...DD and I just keep our toothbrushes here because we're here all the time...
QUOTE(Punkrock_sadistic @ Dec 19 2006, 08:52 AM)
[DD and I just keep our toothbrushes here because we're here all the time...
'tis true though, it's like around the clock "modding" for you guys. Spammers beware...Ok, back to
Yeah, we do that Puffy is my mod and I am hers. We live on the same board and we sleep in the same bed
*cough* (too much season 3 for me lately)
I'm surprised you didn't dig this thread up sooner though
Puffy is my mod and I am hers. We live on the same board *cough* (too much season 3 for me lately)
I'm surprised you didn't dig this thread up sooner though
Yay! A south african thread! I'm joining you guys in only 25 days!
What a pity I don't watch the L Word But I know Punky and DD...does that count 
But I know Punky and DD...does that count
of course it counts. it always counts. that's one of the most important things, really.
SHAMBAM!!!!! I'm so happy to see you in here, I missed you!
QUOTE(DarknessDescends @ Dec 19 2006, 12:59 PM)
Yeah, we do that
Puffy is my mod and I am hers. We live on the same board and your avi and banner rock!!!
QUOTE
I'm surprised you didn't dig this thread up sooner though
Well i thought the chances of it existing were about a million to one QUOTE(Woodstock @ Dec 19 2006, 02:38 PM)
Yay! A south african thread! I'm joining you guys in only 25 days!
QUOTE(Shabnam @ Dec 19 2006, 02:41 PM)
What a pity I don't watch the L Word
But I know Punky and DD...does that count 
Shabs!! 
i'm glad you found your way over here! You better be coming back QUOTE(MollyCBR @ Dec 19 2006, 02:43 PM)
of course it counts. it always counts. that's one of the most important things, really.
QUOTE(MollyCBR @ Dec 19 2006, 12:43 PM)
of course it counts. it always counts. that's one of the most important things, really.
QUOTE(DarknessDescends @ Dec 19 2006, 01:10 PM)
SHAMBAM!!!!! I'm so happy to see you in here, I missed you!
Aww, I missed you too
Yeah, puffy I you when you need it
shambam what have you been up to?
you when you need itshambam what have you been up to?
QUOTE(Punkrock_sadistic @ Dec 19 2006, 02:37 PM)
woohoo: Shabs!!
i'm glad you found your way over here! You better be coming back I'm here
Do you know if The L Word if season one will be re-screened on DStv? I've always wanted to watch but my timing was always out.QUOTE(DarknessDescends @ Dec 19 2006, 03:21 PM)
shambam what have you been up to?
Nothing much really...becoming a domestic queen since our maid has gone home for Christmas but there has also been a lot of social gatherings to attend and my cuz from Johannesburg came to the Cape Sunday with my two adorable neices so tonight we're going out for supper then having a sleepover
You?
QUOTE(DarknessDescends @ Dec 19 2006, 05:21 PM)
Yeah, puffy I
you when you need itQUOTE(Shabnam @ Dec 19 2006, 05:25 PM)
I'm here
Do you know if The L Word if season one will be re-screened on DStv? I've always wanted to watch but my timing was always out....it may be quite close to the end though...
SHAB-MANI haven't been up to much... mostly been hiding from that big scary thing called Christmas 
Hey, you have myspace!
punky
Hey, you have myspace!
punky
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