Haley
~
"Yeah, I think it is agreat idea, he misses you"

Nathan----"Yeah. I missed all of you too. Are you still singing there?"

Haley
~
"Yes, when I got pregnant, well when i was near to have Jamie I stopped, I can`t wait to go back! I wrote a lot of songs about us"

Nathan----"You did? I can not wait to hear them. Haly...I am going to get a disability check every month from the government. I am not sure how long this rehab thing I am supposed to go in to will last. Than I will get a job."

Haley
~
"i heard that miliraries are getting good jobbs, so thats a goo d news"! i smile a littl e "Btw, if you dont mind i would love if you wear your uniform tonight"

Nathan----"Sure I will keep it on for you. Toorrow I am going back to regular clothes though. It will feel good to feel like a normal man again."

Haley
~
I smile at him "ok so where are we going now?? to get your meds?"

Nathan----"Yeah. We should do that first. Than maybe get some lunch. I guess our son takes a nap every after noon?"

Haley
~~~~~~~~
"try almost every minute" i chuckle "Thank God he is a great baby and doesnt cry a lot.." I smile at him "it feels good to hear you saying that: our son"

Nathan----"It still seems impossible but there he is. He is so beautiful Haley. All we had was one night and look at what we created."

Haley
~~~
"It was a pretty amazing night' i smile "i guess we were inspired"

Nathan----"It was the night you grew you to love me and I got to show you how much love I have for you."

Haley
~~
"I`m so glad we fell in love, I even wrote a song about wanting to Mrs Scott" i chuckle.

Nathan----"Really?" I smile at her. "I love you so much and I missed you more than I can ever tell you."

Haley
~
"I love you too, and you have no idea hwo much i missed you"


how are ya girly?

A little better. This time of year is just hard. I hate winter because my depression always gets worse for some reason. Tomorrow I am going to the doctor because I am having high blood pressure.

Nathan----"I think one reason I fought so hard to stay alive over there was for you."

i`m glad to hear you are a little better, i hope you get a lot better soon i dont like to see you sad and not helping


Haley
~
"you made a promise to me, to come back so we could start a life togheter, if you hadnt come back...i would kill you"

Nathan----"Double death does not sound like fun." I smirk at her. "I promised and I always do what I promise."

Haley
~
I know" i smile 'and that is one of the many reasons why i love you"

Nathan----"That is good to know." We get to the doctors office and we go in and wait.

Haley
~~~
"do you want to hold him??"

Nathan----"He is so little Hales...what if...I hurt him or break him or some thing?"

Haley
~
"you won`t, just..be careful with his head, ok?"

Nathan----"Yeah...ok" Haley puts my son in my arms for the first time. I look down at him "Hey little man...I am your daddy. I know you do not know me and I am sorry I was not here when you were born. I love you so much. Your momma and I love each other so much and the three of us are a family now."

Haley
~~~~~~~
James opens his eyes and looks at Nathan for while then he smiles. I smile with tears in my eyes "he..he knows you"

Nathan----I look at Haley "Yeah I am sure you told him about me. He is a really smart baby Hales. He looks so much like you." I never have seen him with his eyes open but he does look like her.

Haley
~~~~~
"he has your eyes, it is one of my favourite things about him" i say as i play with his little fingers.

Nathan----"Wow....he is just so amazing...it is hard to believe that we made him." I lean down and kiss his little head. "I...I am so lucky."

Haley
~
I smile and kiss him 'we are lucky"

Nathan----"So many men have not made it back Hales. Men who have fmilies that love them. I do not under stand why I got to make it back alive."

Haley
~~
"Because God was good enough with me not taking you from my life..we should be grateful and i know i am..did you...did you make any friends in there?? I once heard that people try not to make friends during the war because the next day they might not be aorund"

Nathan----"Yeah I had a couple of really close friends. One died and the other one got to go home. He was hurt worse than me. I will never forget what I saw over there." I get flashes of the war in my brain than.

Haley
~~~~~~
I nod then look at him and gently kiss his forehead "it`s ok...you`re home now"

Nathan----"I will never forget what I saw though. It has changed me. I am no longer the naive boy I was Haley. I have changed a lot."

Haley
~
"you may have changed some.." i caress his cheek i look into his eyes "but you are still my Nathan, my husband, and I love you"

Nathan----"You do not know me....not the me I am now. I do not even know the me I am now...not fully."

Haley
~
"Nathan, do you love me?? Do you wanna be with me and be my husband and the father of Jammie??" i ask this serious.

Nathan----"I love you Haley. I am just not sure if you are going to love me. Not the way I am now. I have seen hell and I am bitter and not very happy."

Haley
~
'Just answer the question Nathan"

Nathan----"Haley....I love you...I have loved you fpr so long. I am just not sure if you can love me."

Haley
~
"Answer the questions Nathan"

Nathan----They call my name than. "I...I have to go see the doctor now."

Haley
~
I sigh "ok, we will wait you here"

Nathan----I go in to see the doctor. I have to wait for awhile and my mind wanders back to the war and all the horriblr things I went thru. The doctor fianlly comes in and it turns out to be a lady. I think I met her before in Germany at the hospital. "Are you Dr Sawyer?"

Dr Sawyer
~~~~~~
"yes, i am'

Nathan----"I was your patient when this first happened to me. I am sure you do not remember me but I remember how nice you were to me."

Dr Swayer
~~~
"it is nice to see one of those men alive. How are you feeling Mr Scott??"

Nathan----"My leg still hurts at times which is weird because it is not there any more. Other than that physically I am ok. Mentally I am pretty damn messed up."

Dr
~~~~~
"i think you should see someone Mr Scott, going to a war is very traumatic, it helps to have someone to talk to, i know a person that many of the military goes see, he helped a lot of them"

Nathan----"I do not know Dr Sawyer. I am not crazy I am just different now. I do not know how to explain to my wife what I am going thru."