There's something off about the film Wanted, and it isn't the uncompromisingly ugly poster that was plastered in every bus shelter and subway station from here to Kuala Lumpur. It's in the product itself, a 110 minute long violent fetish concocted by the same writers who brought you the wonders of 2 Fast 2 Furious; a film that doesn't quite understand what it's trying to be, and in failing so, provides entertainment but leaves its viewers indifferent to the entire affair.
The film centres on Wesley Gibson, played by James McAvoy, a late twenty-ish Accounts Manager trapped at a job that he's indifferent to, berated daily by a shit boss, living in a shit house, and best friends with a shit friend who's not-so-secretly fucking his shit girlfriend. We're introduced to his world quickly. Profanity-laden voice-overs lamenting about how he doesn't feel anymore, how he's not living up to his potential, yadeedadeeda - basically the same kind of stuff that I write about in my LJ.
Then one day, he finds out, surprise! His dad's a trained, expert assassin, whose gifts are the result of magical DNA that gives him super duper amounts of adrenaline when needed, and ergo he's inherited these powers too. Tim exits, stage left. Discovering that his father was privy to a secret society of weaver/assassins (WEAVER ASSASSINS WTF) known as The Fraternity, he gets recruited by said shady cult to find and kill his father's murderer, setting up the tried and true cliche of boy sets off for vengeance/justice for dead parent (i.e., Luke from Star Wars). But whereas the aforementioned series was actually good, this movie is just a self-conscious fanboy fantasy that clearly was heavily edited in order to appeal to a wider audience, losing on its way any charm that it might've had if it'd taken a more organic approach.
Things go wrong right from the get go. Wesley's narration at work is forced, packed with irrelevant anecdotes peppered with swear words and male nudity, all which rather than enhancing and delighting the viewer, detracts from the monologue. Does he really need to say 'fuck' there? No, it comes across as insincere and unnecessary to the progression of thought. And what about that 'shit' over there? It doesn't have the subtle humour of Office Space that they're so clearly trying to channel. Or what about his fat female boss? Do we really need to pander to society's disdain for the obese to somehow make her worse than she is?
Why does the director constantly speed up and slow down frames, rather than just cut from one to the other as any reasonable person would do? Makes it more "action movie" and "bad music video" I suppose. And how does Wesley's father jump from one office tower to another? Adrenaline only gets you so far, and certainly not across S. Michigan Avenue, which at that point is at least 6 lanes wide. The entire movie is littered with problems like this; if it's not issues with the laws of physics, then it's badly written lines or absurd ideas (The Loom of Fate? My friend and I actually laughed out loud at this in the theatre). Sure the movie's entertaining, I certainly have no problems with watching male nudity all day long or watching men penetrate each other with objects - I'm gay and North American after all, I relish in this kind of stuff, but it's been a while since I've seen an action movie so ludicrous, so emotionally and intellectually vacuous and simply, just so choppy and uneven. It makes me a little upset actually.
The film is at its best when the characters aren't vocalizing their puppet masters' half-baked "wouldn't it be so awesome if..." ideas, when the action drives the plot, and one isn't overloaded with thoughts of "that makes no sense". Even then though, river-cut valleys in Eastern Europe aren't really so deep that train cars can fall down never-ending abysses, and Wesley, who's been trained for only 6 weeks, shouldn't be able to best other trained assassins who've been doing this for years, if not decades. I can do suspension-of-belief, but this really asks you for all you've got to give.
Russian director Timur Bekmambetov's over-the-top action style is more minimalist in Wanted, toned down from his semi-famous "Watch" trilogy (Day Watch, Night Watch and Dusk Watch), and as a result, isn't nearly as cheesy, campy and so eyeroll-inducing as it could've been. That's pretty much all that's good about this film. Oh, and James McAvoy worked out and thus has a hot body, and even occasionally looks really hot.
So why does this movie feel so wrong? It might be the fact that it treats itself seriously as an action drama yet constantly inserts failed comedic moments (though hearing Morgan Freeman utter, "Shoot that motherfucker!" is priceless), or unintentionally provides the giggles derailing attempts at seriousness, but I suspect that it's something deeper and more profoundly ugly that inspired me to write such a litany against this film. The overriding message of the film might be something like this: If you're not in complete control of your life, you are a loser. If you don't know who you are and what you want from life, then you are a nobody. If you go around trying to kill your father's murderer and in the process happen to kill several hundred other innocent people, then that's good, because you're taking your destiny into your own hands.
Who needs to say please or thank you or follow the social mores? Not a trained weaver assassin apparently.
(
2 out of 5 stars)
